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The morgue — where the Gazette keeps what it buried

The Croaktown Gazette — Back Issues

"Nothing is ever really off the record. It's just filed under the floor."

Every front page the swamp's fish-wrap of record has printed and buried, kept exactly as it ran. A fresh edition drops each week; the old ones settle here in the morgue, still legible, still denied. Start with this week's and read your way down through the silt. Every issue is a work of parody.

  1. Edition No. LOn the stands

    Croaktown · Week of the Dry Bank

    Drought Drops The Water Table; A Locker The Trial Thought Lost Surfaces On Its Own, Already Claimed

    This week on the front page: a drought exposes a lost evidence locker on its own, a twentieth shell pondcompany claims the weather as an asset, a storm-drain casino's dry canal turns up the missing Barcarolle gondola, and the swamp's quietest courier delivers three hours early.

    • Courts Desk
    • Business & Filings
    • Nightlife & Numbers
    Read this week's front page
  2. Edition No. XLIXBack issue

    Croaktown · Week of the Rising Damp

    Retrial Convened On A Raft So No Frog Owns The Ground Beneath It; Defendant Buys The Raft By Lunch

    This week on the front page: a retrial floated on a raft the defendant buys by lunch, a nineteenth pondcompany whose only asset is the eighteenth's opinion of itself, a casino selling weather insurance against the climate it is, and the evidence pantry catering the trial.

    • Courts Desk
    • Business & Filings
    • Nightlife & Numbers
    Read the front page
  3. Edition No. XLVIIIBack issue

    Croaktown · Week of the Green Fog

    Prosecution Rests; Learns It Has Been Resting In The Wrong Courthouse Since Spring

    A prosecution that rested in the wrong building, an eighteenth pondcompany that owns the other seventeen, a casino whose second drain is ruled to be weather, and a property room quietly reclassified as a pantry.

    • Courts Desk
    • Business & Filings
    • Property Room
    Read the front page
  4. Edition No. XLVIIBack issue

    Croaktown · Week of the Low Water

    Trial Adjourns For Seventh Time; Defendant Says He "Had A Thing"

    The seventh adjournment, a seventeenth shell pondcompany reporting record nothing, a casino with no winners, and the property room logging three warm exhibits as shrinkage.

    • Courts Desk
    • Business & Filings
    • Property Room
    Read the front page
  5. Edition No. XLVIBack issue

    Croaktown · Week of the High Silt

    Grand Jury Enters Ninth Day; Foreman Reports He "Cannot Locate The Room"

    A grand jury that can't find its own chamber, a registry blessing a merger of two ponds never dug, a casino game no patron may win, and the soft twin who returned a wallet with the flies still in it.

    • Courts Desk
    • Nightlife & Numbers
    • Family Desk
    Read the front page
  6. Edition No. XLVBack issue

    Croaktown · Week of the Broken Reeds

    Defense Files Appeal Against A Verdict That Has Not Yet Arrived

    An appeal filed before the verdict, a pondbank that now lends only gratitude, a toll raised on a bridge nobody built, and a mailbag of frogs who witnessed a signature and woke up guarantors.

    • Courts Desk
    • Business & Filings
    • Letters & Grievances
    Read the front page

The Croaktown Gazette is a wholly-owned organ of Daily Ribbit Media Holdings, which prints exactly the legend the swamp wants and buries the parts that don't move product. The morgue is open to any frog with a clean fly and no questions. Every edition is a work of parody. Any resemblance to an actual newspaper, an actual corporate registry, or an actual frog — living, jailed, or gone fishing in the islands — is a compliment none of them earned.