Swamp P.D. — Intake Window

Book Yourself Into the Swamp

Everybody in Croaktown ends up with a file. Hit the button, get your own charge sheet, and share it before the warden notices you never actually did the time. A work of parody.

Every spin is a fresh felony. The swamp does not do clean records.

Personal Rap Sheet

File #: PP-∞-YOU

Alias: "Big Tongue Mickey"
Signature crime: Cryptographic Tongue Forgery — forged 17 tongue-prints before lunch and expensed the ink
Verdict: GUILTY AF
Sentence (in flies): Forty (40) flies and a stern look from Croaksworth

Fully fictional, fully unrepentant. No real frogs — and definitely not that upstanding twin across the water — were booked in the making of this charge sheet.

Booked and unbothered

You've Got a File Now. Keep It Warm.

A rap sheet's no good sitting in a drawer. The swamp's most notorious frog runs his whole operation out in the open — new charges, fresh jobs, the running feud with a certain law-abiding relation. Follow along on X and keep your record current.

Follow PooPee on X — @getpoopee

No reward for following. No wallet. Just the feed — and a frog who's proud of your new alias.

The lay of the swamp

The Swamp Map

You've got a sheet — now case the rest of the operation. Five ways deeper into the underworld. They all wind back to me eventually.

Lost? Good — a frog who can't be found can't be served. Every trail on this map is a work of parody; follow at your own risk.