Croaktown P.D. — Known Associates File · Exhibit H
Officer Croaksworth
'The New Watch'
Property-room cop, badge #047
The frog who guards the evidence and writes the cellblock dispatch. Officer Croaksworth keeps the chain of custody on the whole locker — minus the three exhibits that quietly walked, and plus one very nice new watch.
How he met PooPee
Croaksworth drew the property-room posting nobody wanted — long nights guarding the swamp's confiscated everything under badge #047. PooPee visited exactly once, admired the shelving, admired the officer's old and failing watch, and left. Three exhibits and one watch later, the two of them have an understanding that has never once been written down.
He also writes the Cellblock D dispatch on the side, which means the frog guarding the evidence is also the frog narrating the crime. The department calls this efficient. The department has not thought about it very hard.
What went missing
The evidence locker is the physical half of the rap sheet, and three of its most interesting pieces are simply not there anymore. Croaksworth logged the loss, logged the wink, and updated his wrist. The gaps in the locker line up, exhibit for exhibit, with Skeeter the Auctioneer's finest recent lots — a coincidence Croaksworth declines to investigate, being the investigator.
Ask him about any of it and you get the same three words, delivered with the calm of a frog who has already been paid: no further comment.
Three exhibits walked out of my property room. I logged the loss, logged the wink, and bought a new watch. No further comment.
Where this name turns up in the file
- The rap sheet — the counts behind the missing exhibitsThree exhibits short of a complete file.
- The cellblock log — the dispatch he moonlights onThe Cellblock D dispatch, written by the evidence-room cop himself.
- The glossary — swamp terms, definedLook up 'chain of custody,' 'the walk,' and 'no further comment.'
- The whole crew, one line eachEvery toad, cricket, and skeeter on the payroll.