Croaktown P.D. — Known Associates File · Exhibit E
Warden Toadkins
'Early Parole'
Definitely-not-bribed prison official
The man with the keys to the Lily-pad Lockup, where PooPee is serving three concurrent terms and running the block. Warden Toadkins let him out 'for one ribbit,' and the place has never been more orderly, or more profitable.
How he met PooPee
Warden Toadkins met PooPee the way most officials do — on the wrong side of a cell door, holding the keys and a great deal of confidence, both of which he lost by the end of the week. PooPee was booked on three concurrent terms. By the second night he was running the commissary. By the third he was running the warden.
The warden insists no bribe changed hands. He let PooPee out 'for one ribbit' — a single croak, a courtesy, a nothing. He has repeated this so many times that he has started to believe it, which is exactly how a good bribe is supposed to work.
What he oversees
The Lily-pad Lockup runs better under PooPee than it ever did under the state. The cellblock log tells the whole story — quieter nights, fuller commissary, a suspicious absence of incidents. The warden takes credit for the numbers and asks no questions about the method.
He says PooPee could be governor of the swamp. Coming from the frog who is supposed to be keeping him locked up, this is either the highest praise or the whole confession, depending on which desk you file it at.
I let him out for one ribbit and he ran the block better than my office ever did. The man could be governor of the swamp.
Where this name turns up in the file
- The rap sheet — the terms he's supposed to be enforcingThree concurrent terms, one very relaxed warden.
- The cellblock log — the block, under new managementNightly dispatch from the Lily-pad Lockup.
- The glossary — swamp terms, definedLook up 'concurrent terms,' 'one ribbit,' and 'commissary.'
- The whole crew, one line eachEvery toad, cricket, and skeeter on the payroll.