★ Croaktown Bulletin ★
WANTED
Approach with caution. Subject is armed with a tongue and a great smile.
BOUNTY
3% of the take
(and bring a cigar)
Reward offered to any frog willing to help with the breakout. Subject considered fully unrepentant. Will absolutely flee to the islands. Will absolutely cut you in for 3% if you ask nicely and bring a cigar.
See the full rap sheetThe lay of the swamp
The Swamp Map
Five ways deeper into the underworld. Pick a door — they all wind back to me eventually. That's how you know whose swamp it is.
- The Rap SheetEvery count they could make stick, and a couple they invented. I did all of it grinning.Read the charges
- The JobsThe heists, worked step by step — the casino, the tongue-press, the pad that never was. Take notes.Case the jobs
- The CrewEvery toad, cricket, and bent cop on the payroll or in my debt. Loyalty runs one direction. Down.Meet the crew
- The Croaktown GazetteThe swamp's fish-wrap of record. They run my name on Page One every week. I never write in.Read the front page
- Frequently Alleged QuestionsThe questions the swamp keeps asking. The answers my lawyer keeps begging me not to give.Ask the frog
Lost? Good — a frog who can't be found can't be served. Every trail on this map is a work of parody; follow at your own risk.
Last seen: the feed
Still at Large. Follow Along.
The bounty's posted, the mugshot's out, and he's already three ponds ahead. If the swamp wants a current location, it should watch the feed — everyone else does. Follow PooPee on X and keep eyes on a frog no poster can hold.
Follow PooPee on X — @getpoopeeNo reward for following. No wallet. Just the feed — and a frog still very much at large.