Croaktown Personnel — Intake Screening
Which of PooPee’s Crew Are You?
Every operation needs its own kind of lowlife. Answer straight — six questions — and the swamp will tell you which chair at the table has your name filed under it. A work of parody.
A shell pondcompany needs a problem to have never happened. What’s your first move?
Fully fictional, fully unrepentant. No real frogs were profiled, deputised, or bribed in the making of this quiz — and no, that upstanding relation across the water did not make the cut.
You’ve been filed
The Swamp Knows Your Type Now. Stay Close.
You’ve got a chair at the table — don’t let it go cold. The swamp’s most notorious frog runs his whole operation out in the open: new charges, fresh jobs, the running feud with a certain law-abiding relation. Follow along on X and keep your standing current.
Follow PooPee on X — @getpoopeeNo reward for following. No wallet. Just the feed — and a crew that just made room for you.
The lay of the swamp
The Swamp Map
You know your type now — go case the rest of the operation. Five ways deeper into the underworld. They all wind back to me eventually.
- The CrewEvery toad, cricket, and bent cop on the payroll or in my debt. Loyalty runs one direction. Down.Meet the crew
- The Rap SheetThe real file — every count they could make stick, and a couple they invented. I did all of it grinning.Read the charges
- Rap Sheet GeneratorNot crew material? Book yourself instead — a fresh alias, a signature crime, a sentence in flies. Share it.Book yourself in
- The JobsThe heists, worked step by step — the casino, the tongue-press, the pad that never was. Take notes.Case the jobs
- The WANTED PosterThe bounty’s posted and the mugshot’s out. Print it, screenshot it, share it next to your result.See the bounty
Lost? Good — a frog who can’t be found can’t be served. Every trail on this map is a work of parody; follow at your own risk.